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I adore my wife (and I didn’t need to go to therapy to say it). It’s just true! We are blessed to be more in love today than ever and enjoying marriage more than ever before. Getting there required both of us coming to the realization that we are selfish sinners who had married of like kind. We needed help to become the partners in marriage God called us to be. Its taken lots of work but more to God’s credit. He did it all and now we have a Marriage that we praise and thank Him for.

This Spring, Bonnie has taken on the project of writing a Marriage series called “His Word to Wives”. Not wanting to be outdone, I thought I’d jot a thought of my own. Namely, if marriage is meant to last (and it is) then how do we build staying power into it? What’s the secret? Is it luck? Compatibility? Blindness? What’s the Eyebeam that keeps it all from caving in? A truth upon which all else rests?

Well, for us a breakthrough came when we realized in order to deal with the Heart of Marriage we had to first deal with the Heart of Sin. Back up, read that again. Serious, hang on it long enough to ponder whether you and your spouse have had an open conversation about SIN because that talk alone changes everything. Here’s why; we will never delight in God’s true solution until we face our true problem. Admitting we sin keeps focus on our dependency and on Christ’s remedy.

Regrettably, many couples think they can have a lasting marriage without addressing the sin issue. But if marriage is an earthly expression of our heavenly position with Christ, then it’s necessary for sin to be addressed in order to fully arrive at a role we’ve been created to fulfill. Unfortunately ignoring our sin isn’t confined to marriage. Many churches think they too can have a healthy ministry without confronting sin. Many avoid the topic altogether, reducing the message of the Cross to an example of service to others (partly right) yet making no mention of it being the only payment for our sin (the full story of Calvary). In the long run both the marriage, and the ministry, that avoids dealing with the issue of sin will never realize what Christ has done and desires to fully accomplish.

A few things to apply;
1) Achieving all Christ has done, and has to offer, begins when we stop ignoring our sin and placing blame onto others. It’s only when I am willing to see my sin, that my eyes are truly open.
2) We need to stop believing our sin isn’t bad enough to hang Christ on the cross. Isn’t it amazing how everyone else’s sin looks worse than ours? The truth is my sin alone was enough to murder the Son of God.
3) Ignoring the saving grace Christ came to provide is relational suicide. Like a wheel out of alignment, our personal perspectives steer us for the worse when we lose site of our need for a Savior. Lastly, we must not allow for sin to be tolerated. Repent! Acknowledge your sin to God, confess them to one another, and let God’s love take root in a heart where sin has been rooted out. If you’re looking for a secret formula for a lasting marriage; A magic pill? Here it is … Nail your Sin to the Cross! You will never regret it and your marriage will thank you.

PS Stay tuned for Bonnie’s Marriage series for wives coming later this Spring.